When things aren't adding up, start subtracting

As anyone from a relationship of domestic violence can attest...deception runs high. It is not uncommon for the victim to be constantly deceived by the abuser and them when confronted, the abuse creates confusion and crazy-making feelings for the victim. The abusers are highly skilled in manipulation tactics, however, often the underlying sense that things "just aren't adding up" can't be shaken by the victim. If this sounds like something you are experiencing or have experienced, you are not alone. This is a common behavior trait of abusers. They lie. To cover their lies, the manipulate, create confusion and use "gaslighting" behaviors. It's very important to trust your gut here. Your intuition does not lie. If things aren't adding up...you gotta start subtracting!

A strong woman loves...

It takes a lot of strength to love, to forgive, to walk away, to pick yourself up and begin again. But strong women CAN and we DO 

Deal with it

You've got to deal with it, before you will be able heal from it.

I ran. I ran for a long time. I escaped through my business, bodybuilding competitions, bad relationships...I kept as busy as I possibly could doing anything but dealing with the truth.

It couldn't happen to me. I was ashamed. I was ashamed I had allowed this to happen to me. I was too strong to let someone treat me like that. That's the kind of thing that happens to other people...not to people like me.

Until I dealt with the reality of my abuse head on was I able to begin the healing process. I say process because it's not over. I don't know if we ever get completely "over" domestic abuse. Our scars run deep and we have to seek the help to retrain our thinking and to run the thoughts that our abuser drove into our heads...day after day after day.

But once you stop running and start dealing you can begin the wonderful process of healing (okay, it doesn't always feel wonderful but it's much better than keeping it bottled up inside.)
~Julie

Photo courtesy: Julie Norton Photography

Second chances look an awful lot like closed doors

How many times have you been so discouraged by the closing of a door in your life? How many times have you been frustrated by the loss of a dream? For me, it seems like I've had far too many closed doors. But what I have learned is that every time God closed a door in my life, it was for my protection and my greater good. It was not to harm me or keep me from my blessings. In fact, I've realized that most of my closed doors were actually second chances in disguise. 

Change The Unaccpetable

There are some things we simply cannot change. That doesn't mean we are supposed to accept them. If you have circumstances that you have tried to change...say, a marriage of domestic violence that is beyond repair...you have the choice to change what you cannot accept. Abuse of any kind is unacceptable. Breaking away is very scary but it is the only way to end it. Do not accept it. Change your circumstances. You are worth it!
~Julie

Walk away from relationships & people that don't encourage you

Surround yourself with people who genuinely care for you and are committed to helping you reach your full potential.
~Julie

Photo credit:  Julie Norton Photography

Fear is Optional

For many years I was paralyzed by fear. I built a wall around myself because I was so afraid. I didn't let people get too close. I didn't trust many and I certainly didn't trust easily. When you have been violated mentally, emotionally and physically, fear is a natural response.

It's normal to be afraid, but it's important that we choose not to let our fear stop us from living a courageous life. We can't live by our fear. The storms are unavoidable...for all of us. Challenges in life are not an option. Storms don't pick and choose who they visit, they find us all. But if you feed your faith, your fears will starve to death.

Do it afraid. Conquer fear with faith.~Julie

Bright Lights

Everywhere we go, we have the power through the Holy Spirit to shine our light on all those around us. My hope is to use my time in the "darkness" to bring light and hope to you.

Julie