Diving In!

On Easter Sunday I was baptized at Gold Creek Church in Mill Creek, WA. I had been baptized required of me. I never really knew that one could have a relationship with God...an intimate, personal relationship.

Lutheran as an infant, confirmed in the Lutheran church as a teenager and even went to a Lutheran college in Minnesota. But I never chose church myself. I went and participated because it was

Last year when I hit rock bottom and was severely depressed, having multiple panic attacks each day, I sort of "stumbled upon" God again. In a bookstore. With a Joyce Meyer book. I had no idea she was a Christian author but her new book had just been released that day, You Can Begin Again, and that sounded like a real fine idea to me.

I devoured that book. I went back later that week to buy another one. I could not get enough. Before the week was out I had half a dozen books, downloaded podcasts from Joyce, Joel Osteen, Henry Cloud and had the Bible app installed on all my devices. I was hungry for the Word. Within a few weeks, I was starting to have hope again. Hope that my situation would change and that things would improve and I could move forward with my life. Nothing had changed in my situation, but I was no longer alone...in fact, I never was. But now I had gotten into such a close relationship with God that I felt a power and a strength that I had never in my life experienced before.

I was fortunate to be led to Gold Creek by several different people in my life. It took me awhile to decide that church was a decent place to be. I mean, all my life, I had watched these "so called Christians" do not very Christ-like things and if that was what being a Christian was all about then by all means, count me out!! I gave Gold Creek a chance. I found that the founding pastor, Dan Kellogg, delivered the Word in such a way that it really resonated with me and spoke life into my life. It felt like "home" very quickly. I felt welcome, not judged and just accepted...the single mom with her 3 crazy kiddos. And...they have espresso! Sold!

I jumped right in and started volunteering. I have since taken on the church's social media and Pastor Dan's social media as well for his blog and upcoming endeavors. It was the perfect position and community for me. I decided that I wanted to make my own decision to be baptized and give my life to Christ through baptism. I've just turned 40 and this is a very significant time in my life with things really changing and moving forward and I can feel with every fiber of my being that God wants to use me and my story to help others and to lead others to Him.

I took the plunge! I'm diving in. I'm ready for whatever God wants to use me for. I am truly excited for the journey and for the Light Always Wins ministry to take off!

1 John 1:5
The LIGHT shines in the darkness and the darkness cannot overcome it.

Exercise to Beat Depression

Did you know that one of the best ways to fight depression is with exercise? It’s true.

I have spent the last 13 years of my life in a domestic violence environment, recovering from dv and helping to protect my children from dv. This has not been an easy road and I can assure you that depression has played a very large role in my life over. Fortunately, because of my active lifestyle and the fact that I exercise in some way, shape or form, daily has helped minimize the negative effects that depression can have on people. 

What I have experienced in my journey is that often times, exercising is the last thing I feel like doing when I’m really struggling with depression. I want to crawl under the covers and come out when I feel better again. But, as a single mother of 4, that’s definitely NOT an option for me. And I know that by exercising especially when I don’t feel like it, I will actually improve my mind set and feel more hopeful, optimistic and upbeat. 

Exercise releases “feel good” hormones in our bodies. Exercise releases endorphins (you may have heard of the “runner’s high”) and seratonin, both of which help boost our moods. You will likely notice that during and after you exercise you have a generally more positive outlook on life. Use this feeling as a reminder when you’re feeling down and out to get moving even when you don’t feel like it.

Because exercise provides stress and anxiety relief, I recommend doing it daily. If you are taking prescription medications for depression, anxiety or PTSD, exercise will really enhance the effectiveness of these drugs and help your healing process. Daily exercise does not have to be anything super intense or crazy. Simply getting some kind of movement activity for 20-30 minutes each day will likely provides the benefits you need.

Look for exercises that you will enjoy doing. For me, personally, exercising outside and getting away from the busy city life and into nature is very helpful and healing for me. It rejuvenates my soul. It’s very therapeutic. Whatever it is that you like - swimming, cycling, group classes - do that. Do not force yourself to do something you don’t enjoy. And please, do not make this about weight loss. Your mental health is far more important than you weight during this time. Put your attention into healing yourself on the inside and I guarantee the outside will follow suit.

If you are not in treatment and feel that you may be clinically depressed, please contact your PCP (primary care provider) to find out about therapy and medication options. I was one of those people who was not interested in prescription medication to treat my depression/PTSD/anxiety/panic attacks (yep, I had ALL of that!) but they have made such a difference in turning my life around and getting myself healthy. Please, do not hesitate to seek help.

5 Ways to Rally Yourself Out of a Funk

IIt happens to all of us from time to time. I don't care how much you have it together in your life, there are always storms that weren't in the forecast that can put us in a funk. Over the years I've become increasingly better at working through my funks and getting back to an emotionally good place pretty quickly. There are the most important things I do that allow me to rally out of a funk. 

Quit yo stinkin thinkin!!!

The worst thing we can do is think negative thoughts, allow ourselves to be discouraged and lose hope. The best way to do this is to immerse your brain in positivity. I personally turn to the Word of God but if you are not a believer, I suggest music that's positive, books that teach positive thinking or encouraging videos and blogs easily found on social media. Once I get my thinking right, everything starts looking better. Don't let yourself drown in negativity. 

Gather your circle.

The biggest blessing in my life is my circle. I am surrounded by people who have loved me through thick and thin. They know me and they are never too busy to shower me with love and support when I'm down and out. And the best thing they do for me is to remind me of WHO I AM. When I'm in a funk, I immediately start texting my circle and gather them up for coffee dates, workouts or wine time. Nothing makes my heart happier than being surrounded by my loved ones. 

Pamper yourself. 

This means different things to everybody but for me it usually means a new book, a really good cup of coffee and a comfy chair. It might be a hair cut or new accessories or a new piece of clothing from Nobella Grace. I usually love to get a pedicure in one of those massage chairs too. You know what indulgences you love...do them!! 

Move. 

When I'm in a funk, under the covers and in the corner sounds like a really good place to be. But it's NOT!!!!!! It's the worst place we can be. Move. Even if you don't feel like it. Get outside in the sunshine and fresh air. Grab a friend and go for a walk or a hike. Drag your butt to the gym for a workout. It may not be the best workout of your life but just the act of getting out and doing will help bring your spirits up!

Make fun plans!

Call up your girlfriends and plan a girls night out or a weekend getaway if you can swing it. Having something to look forward to will really help pull you up out of your funk. It obviously doesn't have to be with your girlfriends...your partner, your kids, yourself...you know what works for you. But having something fun on the calendar always puts us in a better mental place. 

Mostly, just keep reminding yourself that storms always end and this won't last forever. You're going THROUGH and this is the good thing: you're moving, you're not stuck. Keep going, you got this!!

The enemy doesn't stand a chance

When you DECIDE you're done, when you decide to leave, when you decide that, no matter what it takes, you will survive...you are NO match for the devil. You must persevere and persist and you must know that you not only deserve to survive but to THRIVE!

Hello December

As I prepare to meet with a friend today who is really struggling big time right now I am reminded of how tough the holidays can be for so many people. I remember very vividly, December 14, 2012 when my children's disclosures rocked my world and turned it upside down. December was not about making wishes come true and being joyful. It was pain and just trying to survive. 

So I wanted to take this morning to acknowledge all of you who are really struggling right now, the ones who wish December could just disappear this year. You are not alone. And whatever you are facing right now is not permanent and there is always hope...as long as you ain't dead, it ain't hopeless. I wish you all peace and comfort this month. 

And for those who are thriving right now I encourage you to share the love. Reach out to a friend or family member or acquaintance you know is struggling. People need our love more than anything. 

When things aren't adding up, start subtracting

As anyone from a relationship of domestic violence can attest...deception runs high. It is not uncommon for the victim to be constantly deceived by the abuser and them when confronted, the abuse creates confusion and crazy-making feelings for the victim. The abusers are highly skilled in manipulation tactics, however, often the underlying sense that things "just aren't adding up" can't be shaken by the victim. If this sounds like something you are experiencing or have experienced, you are not alone. This is a common behavior trait of abusers. They lie. To cover their lies, the manipulate, create confusion and use "gaslighting" behaviors. It's very important to trust your gut here. Your intuition does not lie. If things aren't adding up...you gotta start subtracting!

A strong woman loves...

It takes a lot of strength to love, to forgive, to walk away, to pick yourself up and begin again. But strong women CAN and we DO